It's been hard to write lately, I lack motivation to add anything to my current work load, which already has me at my wits end. I've never felt like it was time to pack it in before, but recently I have been considering letting the blog end here and start up again with a fresh coat of paint after the stress boils over.
But then again, it would seem a terrible shame to finish something that has changed my life so much...so I guess I won't. I'd better keep writing.
Some big news...I start a very part time job next week, which will be a good thing. It will be my first job since before Jack arrived and I'm petrified.
I'm trying to put a positive spin on the next piece of news, because negatively thinking about it makes me well up in tears. We have been suffering in our carfreedom a little, because only the Boda Boda could fit on the train and as we're living in a little village the train is our life line to civilization...so we had to make a difficult decision and sell the Mundo. It happened a lot quicker than I was expecting, we realized it was necessary to get us more mobile and we can't afford numerous bikes in our current financial situation, so it had to go. The good news is the couple that bought it are going to put it to great use with their 2 children, so whilst I did shed tears, I felt reassured by their smiling faces that the Mundo is off to convert the masses in London.
I'm really hoping things start to get easier soon, I don't feel like I've relaxed since June of last year. Moving is so hard, facing a regular work week with health problems is overwhelming, knowing you're not going to be there 24/7 for your little one creates sadness and guilt, selling the Mundo was hard....I miss my dog, and my family too of course. I think my positivity tank is on empty tonight, but I will write more when it's full again.
This has been a hard winter, and a hard time for many. Moving is hard, and it takes about 2 years to settle the routines, find fast friends and a dentist you can trust. Take it one step at a time and remind yourself everytime your foot hits the ground that you are going in a good direction: Forward. Whenever there's a shift, it's preceded by some unwelcome chaos, but when you all land, you'll be in such a great space, doubt will disappear. You are not alone, either.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! You must tell us more about your new job. What will you be doing?
ReplyDeleteI assume that you're going to ride your bike there. How far away is it?
Funny you ask Cullen! It's directly next door, so it would actually take longer to ride lol. It's also a block from the train station, so even if we end up moving towns I may not take my bike unless I have a ride the other end of the trip.
DeleteYou're such a kind-hearted dear. Keep your chin up. I remember very well what you're currently going through. It's not an easy time, small children, work, life. Somehow it all works out in the end but remember, it's okay to cry a little, just ride your bike around the block a few times afterward to put a smile back on your face. You're doing wonderful, as well as anyone could. Keep up the good work, pat yourself on the back and relax!
ReplyDeletedon't give up the blog, writing is very therapeutic, and i'll bet you're feeling emotional because things are finally starting to settle after a year of anticipation and upheaval, and it's just that time of year, sending hugs x
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Don't give up the writing or you will just keep it all bottled up. The writing allows an outlet. We have been there, but push through, carry on, and you will be glad you did.
ReplyDeleteAnd about the Mundo, well it's only a bike and replaceable should you ever need another one. All the best for your new job!
ReplyDeleteYes, keep writing! I love reading your updates and can't wait to hear how the new job is going and see pictures of many adventures aboard the Boda Boda.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry the Mundo had to go, but you're right: it will do good work for the cargo bike movement in London! I'm happy to have been part of the effort to send it overseas in the first place :)